thought dump

     Listen. I'm about to make this a therapy session. 

        Being a boss is draining. I get it that I'm responsible to cover when co-workers can't stay, but for those co-workers to not even care that I have a life too?

    Freaking sucks.

    Just because I don't have a child or responsibilities after work doesn't mean I don't have a life. You know this year I'm trying to focus more on myself. I can't do that if I'm stuck at work just because people can't stay. Guess what? What if I couldn't stay? What if I had to go to an appointment right after work? Just because I'm your boss, it's okay not to care? That you can just leave without worry?

No. That's not okay, and that's not fair. I try very hard to make sure everyone is happy, but clearly they don't care if I'm happy. I'm a nice person, and unfortunately I'm probably too nice. 

    Do you know what I found out today?

    Every single person that works up front with me doesn't want to be there. I thought I was an easy to talk to person. I never judge and I'm always willing to work out a solution. So surprise surprise to me when I get freaking blind sided by a meeting from one of them.

    I totally understand that it sucks that we are short staffed and you have to do multiple jobs for less than what you should be being paid. Want to know how I know? I've been there! I'm still there!

    I am still assisting with my old position, new patient scheduling, I'm doing referrals for 4 providers, setting up transfusions for 4 providers, taking care of insurance issues, finalizing co-pays, doing no show letters and cancellation letters, and rescheduling patients. Oh but let's not forget I cover LITERALLY EVERYONE WHO CALLS OFF!

    So just add hospital consults, check in and check out at this point. 

    So yeah, I get that you are stressed and hate that you don't want to do multiple jobs. I get that you aren't being paid correctly, because I know for certain that I am not getting paid enough. But I still show up, I still do what needs to be done, I still help out when I can. Is it because I'm too nice or is it because I take pride in my work?

    Because I'll tell you right now it's the latter. I was taught at a young age by my parents that you put your all on whatever you do because at the end of the day, that's your name. Your name is what is on that job, do you really want to half ass it and make yourself look bad? Obviously not. 

    So showing me that you would rather leave and not care about anyone else, just leaves a sour taste in my mouth about who you are as a person. 

    I just have to remember to give out to the universe what I want to come back to me. So I'm taking some deep breaths, I wrote out my frustration, and I worked out.

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm hoping it's better than today.

Until next time,

Nicole Lynn